Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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