It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
