you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
