we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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