from now on my penis is your penis
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
