Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
