He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Randomize
