Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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