problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
