she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I need a beard to bite.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
