Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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