a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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