I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Randomize