I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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