I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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