Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
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