i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
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