So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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