I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Randomize