i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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