are you still at the devil's house?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
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