At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
