oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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