I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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