how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
