Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
