It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
