you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
