yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
