Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
