My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
