Tell her she can't have a vagina
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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