I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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