Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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