that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
