i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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