Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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