If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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