just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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