spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
now i know why i became what i already was.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
not ubering you a puppy
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