I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Pooping to opera.
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