happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
