He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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