The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
