Moan for me like Helen Keller
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
