Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
