WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
