He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
