Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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