I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
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