She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
