I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
