Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize