Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
