there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
