so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
