Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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