i can't believe i had my finger in that
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
