And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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