dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize