Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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