This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
