I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize