Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
