Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
