Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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